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My name is Sassy…and I'm a PUNKIN bed-aholic.

It wasn't always this way for me you know. I used to be a normal dachshund, my life revolved around eating and sleeping and the occasional tug of war game, the usual stuff. Like many superior canines, I have always been of the opinion that dog beds were beneath my dignity. Why, after all, should we sleep in a dog bed when the human bed is so much bigger and more comfortable? After all, humans are no better than I, why should they have the honor of the big soft bed. And so it went, with me in the big bed and dog beds, unused, scattered throughout the house.

And then one day, this man knocked on our door,he was dressed all in brown and carried a big box. Mommy was very excited and said that the box was for me. And so I was excited too, until she opened it. What is this? Another dog bed? Huh, she should have learned to spend her money more wisely by now. She threw it in the floor and watched me. Well, I guess I'd better make her feel as though I like her present a little bit. After all, I don't want her to think I'm ungrateful. So I casually stroll over to the bed. It is very odd in appearance, not in a certain preformed shape like my other beds. I sniff it, then flip it over to see what it looks like on the other side. Mommy is watching me, smiling. Well, of course I like to make my mommy smile so just to please her, I climb into the bed. Then something overtakes me. It isn't like anything I've ever felt before. Almost like a greenie-high. It is a wonderful feeling. Well, maybe I'll just lay in it a while. After all, mommy did spend the money for a good cause.

Time moves on. Each day I find that it is harder to get up from the bed for anything. I live in fear that the cat will get his lard butt into it. I cannot allow that. The bed is mine, not his in any way. When I leave the house I think about the bed the entire time I'm gone, feeling it's softness surround me. Then it hits me, that cat is probably enjoying my bed while I'm out being a social butterfly. When we get home I immediately run to my bed and sniff it entirely, making sure that it is okay and has no cat hairs in it. Oh, I know he thinks about it. I can see it in his feline eyes, they mock me, knowing that when I leave the bed will be at his mercy. Thoughts of this consume me until I cannot make myself leave the bed even for a treat. I make mommy bring the treat to me and place it on my tongue. Last night was the final straw. I found myself unwilling to leave my bed, even for the warmth and size of the human bed. Mommy called me many times and though I wanted to be with her, the pull of my bed was too strong. I have succumbed to it's siren call.

Mommy came and lifted me out of the bed and put me in the bed with her. I tried to stay, really, I did, but I am addicted. I had to leave her and go get in my bed. Finally, like the good mommy she is, she understands. Then she picks up my bed, with me still inside of course, and puts us both in the bed, where I then sleep the rest of the night. I need to know that I am not alone, that there are others out there like me. Please, if you read this and understand, come to the next meeting of PBA (PUNKIN beds anonymous).

Sassy the doxie.


 

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